Americans go back to work

Happy Wednesday, Future Party people. Have you sworn never to go back in to work again? You’re not alone. While European and Asian countries have seen return-to-office rates of over 75%, the US is lagging behind at around half. We Americans truly love our WFH. Read more below.

In other news… Americans aren’t going back to (in-person) work, Generative AI meets social media, and Twitter could get a Boring CEO.

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The Future. Global office occupancy rates are on the rise, nearly returning to pre-pandemic levels in much of Europe, Asia, and the Middle East– but not in the US. Unique social and economic conditions in the United States have created a return-to-office gap that’s likely to persist. Long-term, that may mean depressed landlords and urban centers– but happier workers.

Only in AmericaFactors unique to Uncle Sam have left the US in a strange return-to-office position.

Exacerbating the situation for US landlords was the decade-long office boom that was in full swing before the pandemic and which doomed itself to failure by ignoring already high office vacancy rates.

No place like homeAnalysts think this difference will last. The factors that put the US in this position existed before the pandemic, so they’re likely to persist long after it too. The economic position of landlords and US urban centers will get worse before they get better, and both will have to get creative to survive.

This can become a vicious cycle– no one wants to sit in an empty office, so they’ll leave. But on the bright side, no one will have to.

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The Future. Major social media platforms like Meta and Snap are unveiling their own Open-AI-based chatbots and language models. The two offerings have a variety of use cases, but it’s not yet clear if either will manage to make money– or avert ChatGPT’s misinformation disasters. If they fail, gen AI may struggle to become a big income stream for brands.

Visions of the futureMeta and Snap’s new generative AI products differ widely in their implementation and prospects.

Pandora’s boxThere’s a huge risk that a company’s concern for their profit margin could motivate them to unleash their gen AI technology in irresponsible or downright unscrupulous ways. Compared to OpenAI, though, LLaMA’s smaller language models are apparently easier to debug and keep from spreading misinformation.

The answer probably depends on whether and how either platform will monetize these programs; so far, businesses don’t seem particularly excited about LLaMA, and Snap’s My AI seems more like a novelty draw than a branding opportunity. But someone will try soon enough.

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If you’re not getting a good night’s sleep, or if you’re waking up with a sore jaw or headache, you may be grinding or clenching your teeth at night. One in every four adults grind or clench their teeth – but most don’t even realize they’re doing it!

Fortunately, there's a way to get a better night’s sleep and reduce jaw pain and headaches by protecting your teeth from grinding and clenching with a custom night guard.

Remi has reinvented the night guard for more comfort, convenience, and affordability. They’ll send you an at-home impression kit and have a team of in-house dental professionals to make you custom, comfortable night guards—for 80% less than the cost of the dentist.

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The Future. Steve Davis, CEO of The Boring Company since 2019, is rumored to be in contention to take over the top bird spot from Musk. If Davis, a longtime Musk partner, does take over, Musk would be free to return his attention to the embattled Tesla. But would Musk be handing over the reins to someone who doesn’t appear to have a vision for the social platform… beyond cost-cutting?

Clear the nestAccording to a report from Platformer, the search for Twitter’s new CEO may be coming to an end… and it may be someone already very close to Musk.

Hardcore hazingHow bad does Davis seem to want the job? He was reportedly one of the first people to take up Musk’s call to be “hardcore” at the company by sleeping at Twitter HQ with his partner and newborn child in a makeshift office. And having worked with Musk since 2003, the dedication runs deep.

Even if Davis doesn’t get the job, Musk has stated that he will step down from the top of the nest after this ongoing “initial burst of activity” — abiding by the obviously legally-binding results of a Twitter poll calling for his resignation.

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Want to be your best you? There’s an app for that. You may have heard of it or even have it on your phone (we do). It’s called Noom.

The cool thing about Noom is that they use the latest behavioral science to empower people to take control of their health. It’s pretty well known as the app to help you manage a healthy weight, but they’re now working to help people with all things health – including stress and anxiety, hypertension, and even diabetes.

You can spend as much or as little time on the app as you want and still get great benefits. So, go Noom already.

In partnership with Noom

The best curated daily stories from around the web

It’s official: applications are now being accepted for companies that want a piece of the $39 billion in “funding incentives” to build chip-manufacturing facilities in the US. The money, which was approved by the CHIPS and Science Act that passed last year, is the US’s big push into competing with China for semiconductor dominance… ensuring that we don’t undergo the same shortages we had over the past couple of years ever again. The first “CHIPS for America” awards will go to firms that “can ensure the billions in taxpayer money are protected and leveraged to advance US national security goals.”

Read More → theverge

Hollywood agency UTA is launching a fashion division as part of its ongoing business expansion. The division is tasked with “helping clients drive culture and inspire trends” while working across various other agency arms. The division will be led by Anne Nelson, a fashion veteran who has held positions at IMG, Elite Model Management, CAA, and even the UFC.

Read More → variety

The world of crypto is getting a little too volatile for major credit card companies. On the heels of the collapse of FTX, BlockFi, and Three Arrows Capital, Visa and Mastercard announced that they’re putting a pause on any new crypto partnerships. A Visa spokesperson said that recent headlines are “a reminder that we have a long way to go before crypto becomes a part of mainstream payments and financial services,” while Mastercard said it would focus more on the underlying blockchain tech than anything else.

Read More → insider

In the streaming wars, sought-after library titles like South Park are key to keeping subscribers hooked… and Warner Bros. Discovery is not a fan of sharing that demand with Paramount. WBD paid $1.6 million for each of the over 300 South Park episodes that South Park Digital Studios (a joint venture between creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone and Paramount), and for 30 new episodes. WBD alleges that the team hasn’t delivered enough of the new episodes, discovered that episodes were playing on Paramount’s Comedy Central, and was charged extra for the bonus Pandemic Special. Meanwhile, Paramount inked a new $900 million deal with Parker and Stone, which includes making South Park movies for Paramount+.

Don’t be surprised if South Park satirizes all this in a coming episode.

Read More → theverge

A group of international researchers led by a team out of John Hopkins University are hoping to create “organoid intelligence.” This involves using brain cells — which can store a lot more information than typical silicon computers — as “biological hardware” that could “one day be even more efficient than current computers running AI programs.” That’s because the brain, according to a paper published in Frontier, can store 2,500 terabytes using 100 billion neurons. In other words, very intelligent. Sounds like the beginning of our downfall.

Read More → vice

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Today's email was brought to you by Luke Perrotta and David Vendrell.Edited by Melody. Publishing by Sara Kitnick.