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Happy Monday — and congrats to our readers who are Seattle Seahawks fans. The Hawks won Super Bowl LX, 29–13, and even kept the Patriots scoreless until the final quarter. Still, the happiest people last night were probably the couple who got married during Bad Bunny’s groundbreaking Halftime Show. No one’s ever done that before!

With so much AI slop spreading across the internet, tech giants are offering top rates for writers, editors, and comms experts who can effectively tell a company’s story — especially when it comes to AI.

Why It Hits: For two decades, software engineering was the crown jewel of Silicon Valley. But AI is rewriting that hierarchy. New computer science grads are facing a 6.1% unemployment rate, while AI tools have turned everyone into a writer… just not a good one. As a result, companies now want humans who can write with clarity, personality, and authority — potentially making a liberal arts degree the hottest résumé flex in tech.

Behind The Hires: You can now make a lot of money in Silicon Valley without knowing a thing about coding. Insider has the rundown:

Closing Thoughts: With the average director of comms in the US earning $106,000 a year, English majors are about to start applying to companies they never imagined working for. These roles involve writing company blogs that don’t sound like AI word soup, Substacks with actual voice, and internal comms that motivate more than they meander.

That’s because much of the writing in Silicon Valley right now is verbose and sloppy. In other words, it’s the kind of writing Sam Altman unironically said “feels very fake” … which just makes us think of this classic sketch.

The Future: Expect every major company to build a dedicated storytelling team — and for out-of-work journalists, TV writers, and copywriters to become the industry’s most in-demand hires.

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Water brands are hiring sommeliers to take their offerings to the next level — and explain to customers why the perfect sip is worth a higher price.

Why It Hits: Young people are avoiding alcohol, and older folks are prioritizing health and wellness — so water is becoming the drink of choice across generations. While that may sound basic, the growing range of water options is elevating the beverage. Now, sommeliers are helping curate your next glass.

Behind The Sip: Move over, wine. High-quality water is now the most luxurious drink at dinner.

Last Gulp: So, what do water sommeliers actually look for? Per Bloomberg, factors like sediment, odor, and bubbles can affect taste and mouthfeel. There’s also a distinction between alkaline, spring, and mineral water, which can influence customers’ preferences. Essentially, getting hydrated can be as complex as you want it to be.

Next Pour: How soon until water cocktails become a thing? We’re already thirsty.

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30% of you voted The game itself in Friday’s poll: Which part of Super Bowl LX are you most interested in?

“Without a doubt, the game itself — everything else is a distraction. I will only watch it with someone who feels the same, or I will watch while texting fellow football fans.”

“Bad Bunny is such an amazing performer, I’m excited to see what he does on one of the world’s biggest stages.”

“I’ll probably watch a recap of the best commercials afterward, but the game itself bores me, and the whole thing has gotten too political.”

Let’s keep the conversation going. Join our Poll Of The Day newsletter, so your opinions can shine. Discover how your views line up with your peers’, check out cool insights, and have some fun. It’s data with personality.

📉 A new version of Claude is so good at financial analysis that financial services stocks are starting to drop.

👨‍💻 Startup Atma Sciences has released a TikTok-like app for vibe-coded apps called Gizmo.

🫠 The job market is so tough that some people in their 40s are listing themselves as being in their 30s on their résumés to improve their chances of getting hired.

👕 Former Alaïa designer Pieter Mulier will now be leading design at Versace.

🏈 Roc Nation, Paper Planes, and the NFL are collaborating on a Super Bowl capsule.

🫡 Goodbye, mass-market paperbacks. Our libraries will miss you and your distinct smell.

👀 European Union regulators have ruled that TikTok has an “addictive design” that leads to “compulsive” behavior in kids.

🤳 Netflix continues to expand its roster of content creators, signing the father-daughter team Jordan and Salish Matter.

🐔 Need a Valentine’s Day gift idea? McDonald’s is jumping on the viral high-low food trend with a McNugget-and-caviar pairing. Hilarious.